how many children do you have?
two
how many pregnancies have you had?
3
how old were you when you gave birth?
40 and 44
what are your childrens' ages?
Age 5 and 18 months
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
One miscarriage at 11 weeks
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
How much I have become an advocate and activist because of my powerful and ever evolving betterment with the help of the mushrooms. I’ll never be the same and I hope all mamas can trust and access
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram)
how long did you dose for?
throughout the year
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.15g, .25g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
capsules
how often did you dose?
protocol -- following a set regimen
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
james fadiman - one day on, two days off
did you have any support with dosing?
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth
Pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
I didn’t microdose before my pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I didn’t
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
N/a
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
To manage all the mood fluctuations with postpartum and to reconnect with my internal wisdom, to be more patient and flexible with both my kiddos. Microdosing helps me do these things while also allowing me to be more present… even with sleep deprivation.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Yes
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
I was more connected and my baby was therefor attuned to that connection. With my first pregnancy my body stopped producing milk after I went back to work at 3 months PD and I suffered a significant emotional trauma at work. So I was really intentional with my second with wanting to breastfeed as long as felt right for me and my baby. I also wanted to really attune to the experience, as I was grieving and depressed from 4 months up until about a year PD with my first. I had microdosed before I got pregnant and really benefited emotionally, physically, and spiritually even… remembering myself again.
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
I did not notice any challenges. It was blissful.
Parenting
what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
Oh my goodness so many things… I got my creative thinking back, my deep compassion and patience, I felt like I also could hear my intuition better… and because of that I was able to pick up on what my older kiddo was experiencing or subtle ways she was communicating. It’s as if the noise of stress and fatigue and frustration with my partner all became less loud… still there but no longer distracting me from what really mattered/matters. I found myself lingering in lovely tender moments with my girls… almost like how things are depicted in movies… I was singing again, dancing, and just generally feeling lighter and more myself.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
I can’t think of any except the cost of the microdoses. About $100 for 30. It’s not that bad really. But I now grow my own.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
They borrow my nervous system… we know kids do this… and so it’s a domino effect. When I am present and calm and loving… they regulate more easily. My older daughter started to embody what I was feeling… and almost tile playing with my baby… she is such an amazing big sister… caring, attentive, and loving. She still has normal sibling stuff but also the great stuff too. It’s of course not the mushrooms but the impact they have on me that then impacts my girls. And even their dad. Because he also is in the system. It’s a beautiful way to describe integration… we don’t just integrate our individual internal processes but also integrate with the system/environment we exist in (insert Betty’s E.’s matrix idea here).
Summary
what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
You are not alone. You have an inner wisdom and knowing that will at times feel so far away you may doubt it’s existence. But I promise you it is there, inside you. Microdose mushrooms can help you remember, it’s exquisite and real. It won’t solve the big issues like sleep deprivation or an unsupportive partner but it can help repair the relationship you have with yourself and in turn with your identity as a mama.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Wholeheartedly YES! Postpartum ritual should include work with these mushrooms. We will be better parents, partners, and people because of it.