how many children do you have?
three
how many pregnancies have you had?
6
how old were you when you gave birth?
21
what are your childrens' ages?
8,2,3 months
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
Yes 3 ended in miscarriage. My first miscarriage was quite violent. On a bathroom floor at 19 in a church. I was between 10-12 weeks along. The other two were early around 6 weeks. Just like a late period with a big clot. It definitely impacted my mental health.
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
How quickly it lifted my suicidal thoughts. I mean after two doses that was gone.
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram)
how long did you dose for?
two months
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.15g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
capsules
how often did you dose?
protocol -- following a set regimen
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
james fadiman - one day on, two days off
did you have any support with dosing?
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth
Pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
I started after giving birth and having a traumatic birth experience led me down a rabbit hole because I didn’t want to feel like a zombie on ssris anymore
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I didn’t
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
I didn’t dose while pregnant as I didn’t know about it until after birth
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
Immediately following birth in March 2023 our daughter got strep A (like strep throat) in her lungs. I got it in my uterus. We both went into septic shock. We both had to be revived multiple times. I lost my uterus and fallopian tubes in the process. I was in a coma. We both survived and are now thriving. But it was very traumatic. Losing my uterus was the only way to save my life. So having choice taken away. My fertility taken away so violently right after giving birth which is supposed to be such a sacred time, was horrible. The trauma of also almost losing my daughter was horrible. Microdosing saved my life. I was suicidal even on antidepressants.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Yes
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Happier and more calm
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Even more connected to babe. She’s just happy as can be. Only cry’s when she’s hungry or wanting mama.
Parenting
what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
I’m more patient. I can see their outbursts as lack of communication ability rather than a personal attack on me. I feel like I have a birdseye view of my life now. I see what’s important. I see how to more efficiently communicate. I’m more compassionate. I can self-regulate if I do get frustrated. Whereas before I would cry when everyone was throwing fits. I would raise my voice. I would slam drawers and doors. I was adding to the chaos.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
Sometimes it can make me sleepy. Sometimes it stirs up anxiety. These things I know are things mushrooms are trying to show me. Whether that’s nervous system rewiring or something that’s triggered my anxiety and I need to draw attention to the root cause. However this isn’t always ideal when you’re parenting three children. I’ve also noticed if I take my allergy pill on dose days I basically am too tired to function.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
My kids are still the same.
Summary
what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s mushrooms. You don’t have to be medicated and turned into a zombie. You can feel everything and be ok. You can see your life for the beauty that it is and still have tough days. Mushrooms showed me how we are so connected to everything. They settled me. The grounded me. They reminded me why I’m living and why I wanted to be a mama.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Yes yes and amen!
