how many children do you have?
one
how many pregnancies have you had?
1
how old were you when you gave birth?
35
what are your childrens' ages?
21 months
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
no
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
that i think i need a bigger dose! also, i’ve had limited funds so signing up with a facilitator felt unreachable to me, but i do strongly feel that the microdosing mama community and perhaps one guide to check in with to help you integrate what comes up is a crucial, and in my case missing, part of the journey. i’d like to try again with a larger dose, and perhaps i’ll be brave and reach out to see if there are any trades or sliding scale services offered for the guidance portion. ♥️
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram)
how long did you dose for?
two months
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.1g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
capsules
how often did you dose?
protocol -- following a set regimen
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
james fadiman - one day on, two days off
did you have any support with dosing?
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
we had a very traumatic birth and unexpected home birth transfer, so I suffered from extreme ppptsd and ppa while learning to be a mama. I was drowning. As someone who has built my adult life around deconditioning and healing inter generational trauma pre-baby, it felt like an important part of the work to incorporate into this new layer of healing. I wanted to be present and clear and intentional while learning this tiny precious human, and I couldn't do that without some conscious medicine and intentional rewiring.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Yes
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
i started with such a nano dose, and plan to do a little bit stronger protocol to clear some more stuff that’s sticking around. but I would say the biggest thing i noticed was the lift of weight from my heart. i acquired a sense of peace and clarity and really, hope, for the first time since birthing. i strongly believe having the morning ritual, making space for myself (huge!!) journaling intentions and meditating on the kind of mother i want to show up as has been such a catalyst for growth and really, creating safety to respond rather than react. i would go in to a dose with the deepest of intention. as i moved through my day i felt myself able to be present with my baby, deeply focused on tasks i was doing, and just an overall lightness to our little diad that felt supportive and healing. my baby has always been pretty easy-going and i have wondered how much the dosing had to do with that, but nothing obvious stood out in regards to his behavior or anything. if anything he’s chill cause moms chill!
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
we had a rough start to breastfeeding and reclaiming that relationship once we were home was top priority. i didn’t start micro-dosing until he was a few months old but that was when we were met with all kinds of challenges-my hormones attempting to level out, him trying to figure out my fast letdown, allllll the intrusive thoughts from birth…ingesting mushrooms helped me gain clarity and grace with myself while lightening my heart and lending me a sense of safety and nurture myself so i could take a deep breath and show up for my baby.
Parenting
what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
a greater awareness to respond, not react. it’s still a learning curve with a toddler! but mushrooms really helped me re-write the script on how i want to show up for him, and how to slow down, connect, and feel empathy for him as he moves through his next big thing.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
if it was a day that i ended up having to deal with less desirable things like phone calls/emails, i found that looking at a screen left me feeling really weird. like, buzzy in my head and behind my eyes, unsettled. and it doesn’t surprise me at all!! we aren’t meant to be staring at these things all day. so if it was dose day then i included in my intentions to put the screens away and drop in, otherwise it felt unintegrated, like a wasted dose and a wasted lesson.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
he’s so aware of his body and how things feel to him, and deeply connected to the emotions of other people and animals. his awareness is a beautiful gift i attribute to mushrooms guiding us and connecting us on this healing journey
