how many children do you have?
one
how many pregnancies have you had?
2
how old were you when you gave birth?
27
what are your childrens' ages?
2 months
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
1 abortion at 22. I was not ready to be a mother. Took 4 years to heal that wound. Currently getting used to the wound on my body. The medicine and therapy has helped me in that process.
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
It didn’t solve all my problems and fears. I still had a difficult and painful labor that ended with several interventions. But it allowed me to face my fears and at least attempt the birth I wanted. I plan to use the medicine to continue strengthening my intuition. Fear and stress severed my intuition.
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram), mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
how long did you dose for?
two months
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.2g, .5g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
whole
how often did you dose?
intuitively -- as needed
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
None. I microdosed twice.
did you have any support with dosing?
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
during my pregnancy
Pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
Self exploration, healing
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
Connect more with my baby and work through fears of labor.
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
It allowed me to process my anxiety about birth and labor. It also allowed me to enjoy sex again. Before pregnancy I had sex constantly and orgasmed plenty. Eventually in pregnancy maybe 2nd trim, I was unable to relax enough to have sex without it hurting. I couldn’t orgasm and felt very closed off as opposed to open. I think due to fears of I medicated labor. After I microdosed I was able to have pleasurable sex again and connect with my partner and my sensual self.
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
I have yet to microdose in postpartum/breastfeeding stage but plan to in order to process my birth story fully. Haven’t gotten there yet.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
No
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Microdosing allows me to reflect enough to calm down (I typically use rigorous exercise to calm down but in late pregnancy this was not an option). I have yet to see benefits in my baby but am excited and optimistic that I will.
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
NA/TBD
Summary
what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
Mushrooms are not dangerous. Only fear and not following your intuition is. Society doesn’t want you to have a powerful psyche.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Absolutely. This is the path for all Courageous wild women.