how many children do you have?
two
how many pregnancies have you had?
6
how old were you when you gave birth?
18 and 33
what are your childrens' ages?
19 and 4
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
1 miscarriage, 2 early elective abortions with the pill. 1 D&E abortion: I was 21 (2007) and 20 weeks pregnant. 1 healthy unremarkable pregnancy at 17 (gave birth to my son at 18). Not at risk for anything abnormal. Out of the blue I had symptoms of pain and leaking small amounts of fluid and blood. Doctors said there was a tear in the amniotic sac and told me that if I carried the baby to term I would likely lose my fertility by infection or, if it didn’t die first, the baby would be born severely underdeveloped and disabled with long term health consequences. There was no sign of distress with the baby at the time. But I continued to leak small amounts of fluid and blood with mild pain. My insurance would only cover the abortion if it was fatal. So my doctor lied and gave me a note saying so. I had the abortion at 22weeks pregnant in a detached underground part of a secular hospital in Sacramento. I went in alone, it was the worst experience of my life from start to finish. I woke up in a room with maybe 20 other women. All of us lying in hospital beds crammed into a small area. A nurse came around and gave me a lollipop - I assume to raise my blood sugar but honestly it felt so strange. She told me it was a boy because I’d wanted to know. Eventually I got up, got dressed, and walked out.
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
How incredibly different it is every time. How integral it was for my sanity and mental clarity and creativity. How wide it opened me to life
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram), mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams), high dose (6+ grams)
how long did you dose for?
still dosing
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.1g, .15g, .2g, .25g, .3g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
capsules, whole, Gummies, chocolate
how often did you dose?
intuitively -- as needed
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
Once a week at most
did you have any support with dosing?
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth
Pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
Fun, expansion, to meet myself, to connect with nature and goddess, to learn
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I never did. I was too scared it would harm my baby
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
I didn’t dose while pregnant
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
As medicine, to improve my mental health, relieve anxiety, and process birth trauma and heal. To revive my creative spark as an artist, to paint, write, and make music again. As ceremony, to return to the liminal birth space. To remember.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Yes
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
A) I was more in tune with myself and more resilient in the face of hardships. I was more gentle and loving. B) It enhanced our telepathic connection to each another.
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
A) no challenges B) I was able to enjoy breastfeeding for longer.
Parenting
what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
It brought peace to tumultuous times in my mind. It made me more playful. More sensitive to my children’s needs. It bonded us.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
None. Except maybe that I felt I couldn’t tell anyone because of the stigma
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
I believe it stimulated cognitive development and physical abilities in my daughter.
Summary
what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
Mushrooms are nothing to fear. They are teachers, guides, medicine, and magic.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Yes. 100%