how many children do you have?
one
how many pregnancies have you had?
One
how old were you when you gave birth?
27
what are your childrens' ages?
17 months
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
No
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
How much I'm now able to enjoy things, without needing to smoke weed. How peacefully and happily I can interact with my partner. How gentle I can be with my child. How forgiving and gentle with myself I can now be
Protocol & Dosing
with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
microdose (.1 - 1 gram), mid dose (1-3 grams)
how long did you dose for?
still dosing
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.2g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
capsules, whole
how often did you dose?
intuitively -- as needed
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
Once a week, every monday :)
did you have any support with dosing?
friends/ relatives/ community member guidance, only my own research, found online resources
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
before i became pregnant
Pregnancy
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
I did mushrooms recreationally several times in my young adulthood. Probably a dozen times. Some to have fun with friends. Other times to intentionally work through a hard time, or some trauma that was coming up, or some relationship issues with my spouse (we would call those times "couples therapy"). I had heard about the benefits of mushrooms for years, and have even taken a training through MAPS. My career goal before getting pregnant was to become a psychedelic assisted psychotherapist. That is on pause for now, as I raise my child, but will hopefully continue the process.
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I did not ingest mushrooms while pregnant, though I wanted to. A few of my friends kinda talked me out of it, but I wish I had found time to do it once, with no more than a gram. Next time ;)
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
I did not dose during pregnancy, though I wish I would have. As I could've used it to help myself stop smoking weed earlier.
After Birth & Breastfeeding
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
My postpartum period was very challenging on the mental side of things. They say parenthood is a time when a lot of your childhood trauma comes to the surface, because you're now going to be triggered by a lot of things you haven't experienced since childhood. And oh man, that was super true for me. I grew up with a lot of dysfunction. My parents have a pretty tumultuous relationship, addiction runs in the family, neurodivergencies (I am fairly certain I have ADHD, and highly suspect I am on the autism spectrum - thanks dad!). My mother is a big source of a lot of my trauma, and I would describe it as myself having a big mother wound. I saw motherhood as an opportunity to break a lot of generational curses I saw unfolding in my mom's side of the family. I was in therapy before giving birth, but I didn't really have the same amount of time after becoming a SAHM. I got back into smoking weed for a while, but I definitely didn't have a healthy relationship with it before getting pregnant. So I fell back into old habits, a lot of it spurred on by motherhood and my unresolved traumas. I saw mushrooms and microdosing as a way to take back some control of myself. It's genuinely helped me smoke less, handle my anxieties and frustrations better, and I feel like I have so much more room to grow.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Yes
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Absolutely. I feel much less desire to smoke weed, though not completely gone. But my cravings are definitely less. I find myself more motivated to complete tasks and projects throughout the day. I have a lot more understanding for myself and my neurodivergent quirks. I find myself able to work through my triggers, and actually processing some stuff from my childhood. I'm not sure if I notice any specific benefits to my child while breastfeeding, but I'm hopeful there are some.
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
Maybe just the normal challenges of motherhood. Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed by the demands of my current role, and I tend to get dysregulated and overstimuled from a multitude of environments/situations because of my neurodivergencies. I've noticed that I can't use mushrooms to completely eliminate these things, as a crutch/cureall. But it does help me tolerate things better. I don't necessarily have a higher threshold, but I can better understand what my own needs are when I'm feeling dysregulated. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the needs of my child when I feel like I need to be taken care of, but I'm working on figuring out a balance. Motherhood is really all consuming.
Parenting
what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
I'm able to be calmer when I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. If I do have a dysregulated moment, I'm able to bounce back and reflect on my behavior a lot faster than before. I don't hold onto my anger and frustration as much. I'm able to give myself space to actually feel my emotions and process triggering events. I'm also able participate in parenting with my partner more equally, rather than seeing it in a me vs him mentality.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
None that I have noticed with the amount I'm using.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
Again, I'm not super sure. But he's a great little dude. Seeks like a pretty normal toddler, by all standards. But he's down for anything! He loves camping, hiking, going on all sorts of adventures. We took him to burning man at 12 months old and he KILLED IT. Did so great out there, and we're definitely down to do more adventures with him.
Summary
what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
That it's safe to consume mushrooms therapeuticly. And if you feel it may help you, id encourage it *(with research being done first). Id love the opportunity to he supportive of another mom/parent who wants to microdose.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Yes!
