About the MOTM

Age:
39
Location:
midwest
Mother of:
four
Gender identity:
female
Dosing:
mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
Protocol:
intuitively - as needed

The Story

how many children do you have?
four
how many pregnancies have you had?
3
how old were you when you gave birth?
23, 31, 33
what are your childrens' ages?
2 Earthside, 17 & 7 and 2 Beyond the Veil
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
Stillbirth, I had a rare condition with twins. I had an 8 year old, this was my second pregnancy. I lost the first twin very early on. I traveled to Houston to a renowned Fetal Center to get care for the surviving baby. The condition I had connected the twins bodies, and the surviving twin was pumping blood to the body of her sister which caused the body to continue to grow. I carried both life and death within my womb, an experience that will continue to shape me the rest of my days. I did my best to trust the medical system and landed in a teaching hospital. I lacked the skills and confidence to advocate for myself. My second daughter did not survive the procedure in Houston. I carried her for a few more days before I could travel home and doctor home could get me in to deliver. My hospital experience was painful on every dimension. I had one staff member that was wonderful. The rest of the staff lacked competence and my experience ranged from a CNA telling my husband not to cry, to a nursery nurse telling me that my milk wouldn't come in, to my requests not being followed and daughters being forgotten and left in a refrigerator. To say the least, this experience cracked me wide open and began the descent that lead to me where I am here today, 10 years on the spiraling path.
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
Everything in the most delightful way. Especially the hard stuff, the ways its invited deep intimacy with paradox and non duality has been a fierce teacher. Especially since grief work was the initial portal that brought me here. The invitation to dance in the life death life continuum and stay ever present to it's rhythm is in my bones. The delight of this lifetime.

Protocol & Dosing

with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
how long did you dose for?
still dosing
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.1g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
Whole not while breast feeding or pregnant
how often did you dose?
intuitively -- as needed
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
Folk Dosing
did you have any support with dosing?
Licensed Trauma Therapist
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth

Pregnancy

why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
I never did until all of my children were born.
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I didn't
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
na

After Birth & Breastfeeding

why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
To open material I wasn't able to be with in "ordinary" consciousness.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
No
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
na
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
na

Parenting

what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
I'll speak to this from the lens of many years of mushroom assisted psychotherapy. My ability to be present with my children in their full spectrum of experience without being pulled into fear, control, or overwhelm is not quantifiable. My care of myself has grown exponentially which allows me to be resourced in ways that are much more in service to myself, my family, and the larger animate world. My connection to wonder, curiosity, and mystery continue to expand in intimacy which has gifted me larger webworks of connection and support on my path.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
Time away in the beginning was confusing for my children, as I had to travel. And I historically have stayed with them. They adjusted and it's become central to building healthy attachment.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
Again, from the extension of my assisted therapeutic work- My children notice that our relationship and home is much more spacious. More spacious in our relational field, our lens on the greater systems that we live within.(We are in a very conservative part of the bible belt) My children have the safety to wield their own way in the world, to shape how they understand the world and their participation in it. Even and ESPECIALLY when it doesn't align with ours.

Summary

what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
I needed support in midwifing me through this process. I have witnessed many go it alone or with unethical practitioners. Take your time and thoroughly vet the support and guidance that you receive. It does not have to be a psychotherapist but it doesn't need to be someone with extensive years of self work and apprenticeship. Along with wider webworks of support and accountability. This makes all the difference.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Yes, under careful consideration. I believe there is a lot to consider before opening this path. A foundation of support is imperative and all too often overlooked.
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About the MOTM

Age:
39
Location:
midwest
Mother of:
four
Gender identity:
female
Dosing:
mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
Protocol:
intuitively - as needed
mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
still dosing
.1g
Whole not while breast feeding or pregnant
intuitively -- as needed
Folk Dosing
Licensed Trauma Therapist
after i gave birth

The Story

how many children do you have?
four
how many pregnancies have you had?
3
how old were you when you gave birth?
23, 31, 33
what are your childrens' ages?
2 Earthside, 17 & 7 and 2 Beyond the Veil
did any of those end in early release? (miscarriage, still birth or abortion?) if so, can you share a little about those experience?
Stillbirth, I had a rare condition with twins. I had an 8 year old, this was my second pregnancy. I lost the first twin very early on. I traveled to Houston to a renowned Fetal Center to get care for the surviving baby. The condition I had connected the twins bodies, and the surviving twin was pumping blood to the body of her sister which caused the body to continue to grow. I carried both life and death within my womb, an experience that will continue to shape me the rest of my days. I did my best to trust the medical system and landed in a teaching hospital. I lacked the skills and confidence to advocate for myself. My second daughter did not survive the procedure in Houston. I carried her for a few more days before I could travel home and doctor home could get me in to deliver. My hospital experience was painful on every dimension. I had one staff member that was wonderful. The rest of the staff lacked competence and my experience ranged from a CNA telling my husband not to cry, to a nursery nurse telling me that my milk wouldn't come in, to my requests not being followed and daughters being forgotten and left in a refrigerator. To say the least, this experience cracked me wide open and began the descent that lead to me where I am here today, 10 years on the spiraling path.
what surprised you about the mushroom journey?
Everything in the most delightful way. Especially the hard stuff, the ways its invited deep intimacy with paradox and non duality has been a fierce teacher. Especially since grief work was the initial portal that brought me here. The invitation to dance in the life death life continuum and stay ever present to it's rhythm is in my bones. The delight of this lifetime.

Protocol & Dosing

with psilocybin, what has been your dosing experience?
mid dose (1-3 grams), full dose (3+ grams)
how long did you dose for?
still dosing
if microdosing, what size would you have? (.1 - 1gram)
.1g
in what form were you ingesting the mushroom?
Whole not while breast feeding or pregnant
how often did you dose?
intuitively -- as needed
if you were on a protocol, what protocol did you follow?
Folk Dosing
did you have any support with dosing?
Licensed Trauma Therapist
when did you start ingesting mushrooms?
after i gave birth

Pregnancy

why did you choose to ingest mushrooms before your pregnancy?
I never did until all of my children were born.
why did you choose to ingest mushrooms during your pregnancy?
I didn't
what benefits did you notice in your pregnancy?
na

Postpartum & Breastfeeding

why did you choose to ingest mushrooms after you gave birth?
To open material I wasn't able to be with in "ordinary" consciousness.
did you ingest mushrooms while breastfeeding?
No
did you notice any benefits to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
na
did you notice any challenges to a) yourself b) to your baby and what were the benefits when ingesting mushrooms while breastfeeding?
na

Parenting

what benefits did you notice in your parenting that you attribute to the mushroom?
I'll speak to this from the lens of many years of mushroom assisted psychotherapy. My ability to be present with my children in their full spectrum of experience without being pulled into fear, control, or overwhelm is not quantifiable. My care of myself has grown exponentially which allows me to be resourced in ways that are much more in service to myself, my family, and the larger animate world. My connection to wonder, curiosity, and mystery continue to expand in intimacy which has gifted me larger webworks of connection and support on my path.
what were the unwanted effects or challenges of ingesting mushrooms while parenting?
Time away in the beginning was confusing for my children, as I had to travel. And I historically have stayed with them. They adjusted and it's become central to building healthy attachment.
what benefits have you noticed about your children that you attribute to the mushroom?
Again, from the extension of my assisted therapeutic work- My children notice that our relationship and home is much more spacious. More spacious in our relational field, our lens on the greater systems that we live within.(We are in a very conservative part of the bible belt) My children have the safety to wield their own way in the world, to shape how they understand the world and their participation in it. Even and ESPECIALLY when it doesn't align with ours.

Summary

what would you like to say to other mothers & pregnant/birthing people about your own experience?
I needed support in midwifing me through this process. I have witnessed many go it alone or with unethical practitioners. Take your time and thoroughly vet the support and guidance that you receive. It does not have to be a psychotherapist but it doesn't need to be someone with extensive years of self work and apprenticeship. Along with wider webworks of support and accountability. This makes all the difference.
would you recommend this path to other people?
Yes, under careful consideration. I believe there is a lot to consider before opening this path. A foundation of support is imperative and all too often overlooked.
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